All that is gold does not glitter

I'm having another one of those days. Where you just. Hate. Everything. Things I hate RIGHT NOW:

1) God
2) Society
3) My mom
4) My grandparents
5) My self
6) My body
7) My sister
8) My sister's boyfriend
9) Women
10) Men
11) Christians
12) Edward
13) Sex
14) My cat, my fish, my friends, life, life, life

You get the idea. It sucks. And I'm not joking either. Maybe I was on #12, but how can you not joke to get through times like this? If I went to a therapist, which I probably should, they would tell me some textbook advice along the lines of, "love yourself." "Be who you are." "Stop worrying."

It's just so damn hard to love yourself, when so many people hate yourself. That doesn't even make sense, but who cares. I hate grammar, too. And why should people matter? Why should I care if someone hates me? I have never understood why I turned out to be gay, when I have such an overwhelming desire to simply be liked by everyone. So. Pathetic. If YOU have a problem with me, then EYE have a problem with me. It shouldn't work like that. And because of who I am, I automatically assume everyone hates me. This is probably why I have problems functioning in the "real world." I should be able to set aside the differences, and continue on with life. But instead I turn to hatred. What else can I do, when I was brought up to believe that the creator of all life, which includes me, not only doesn't like who I am, but hates me. Abhors me. Picks on me and calls me names, like Abomination. Sodomite. Adulterer. Sinner.

Well you know what? Fuck. You. God.